Sunday, November 18, 2007

How this all happened...

As many of you know we were in the process of adopting last year when I became pregnant. It is something Chad and I have talked about doing for the last 5 years, I guess it all comes down to a matter of "God's Time" when it was to happen. Unfortunately, my precious son Chase was stillborn this summer at 38 weeks. It has been the hardest thing to go through and I want to to thank my family who has been there for us at any time of the day or night. People just don't realize the devastation of losing a child, he was our hopes and dreams of 4 years in the making. We believe that God has a plan for our lives, although it may not be the plan we would thought would happen there is a greater one. We have to believe that. It may be sad to see my son Chase's website but I believe he is a link to our son Aiden, he was put in my life for a reason. I just need to include him in this journey.
When this all happned -even in our grief we knew we wanted to adopt yet. Chad was the first one to say, "There is a child out there for us, and we will have a few more one way or the other"... he always believed this. He is such a blessing a great father and husband, always there to support us. He has given up alot to give us the life we have, with all his trips overseas due to the military. It is a sacrifice being a military family, but I believe we are stronger and appreciate life so much more because we know it can be taken away at anytime.

Well enough with all that, I just wanted to post how I was feeling and for people to understand how we came to our little guy. Someone on a board I belong to who had lost her baby at 40 weeks and adopted told me, "I have learned it is okay to have grief & saddness in my life as well as happiness and joy, all at the same time"... We will never forget Chase as I think about him day and night but I know there is happiness for our family as well.

So now we are preparing for our little guy from China... I am pretty sure we are naming him "Aiden" but that is always subject to change! Thanks for sharing in our journey. We feel very blessed.


~Kim said...


I am Kim and I posted a response from your post on the China boys Yahoo group. That led me to your blog here and I am astonished at the similarities in our stories! We too found out we were pregnant in Nov of 2006. In Jan of 2007 we found out I had lost the baby and it turned out, by God's providence, that the same week I lost our baby, our new son was born in China who we had never even met yet. Looking back at the big picture, has caused me tears of joy along with the tears of loss. God is good. We too feel that baby led us to our son who sits next to me giggling as I type.

There is a wonderful book by John MacArthur called "Safe In The Arms of God" that I read after the loss of our last child. It comforted me so much and I know it has comforted many others as well in that situation.

Thank you for sharing your story! I look forward to following your journey to China as you bring your little guy home!


The Zeiglers said...

Thank you for your post. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. It is the hardest thing to go through but I have to believe God has a bigger plan for us, even though it is so hard at times. I will have to look for that book. I am glad you found a little one also!