Taylor leaving for camp...

Taylor left for "Kids Kamp" today with some kids she will be going to school/church with. She was so excited... the only thing is, when I was getting her bag out of my car I said, "Taylor, I love you and am going to miss you". She goes, "I love you to, but can you only say that once and not when we get inside?"... I was like, "What?"... my little girl is growing up. It seems like she will have a great time with these little girls. It took her two minutes to meet some friends. Isn't it great to be a little one with no inhibitions about people?

Awesome Video on China's Waiting Children

Taylors Music Drama Camp

Well, it was Taylor's first week in Illinois and she went to a great music/drama camp at a local church. Last night we went to see the program and it was great. It is amazing to think Taylor and another girl led a song in front of about 200 people, not knowing anyone. Can you tell I am a proud parent? It was a great show, Chad made it back from Delaware with 5 minutes to spare! Taylor was so elated her dad was going to see her "solo" (even thought she sang with another girl).

A new day here in Illinois..

It is Friday here and we are excited Chad is coming back today. A week TDY is nothing compared to 4 or 6 months but it is nice he is coming back. I need some more pictures hung up in the house (ha ha). Taylor has been going to a drama/music camp at a local church here and tonight she has a program for it. So that is our exciting Friday night excursion. I love to see her praising God, it always warms my heart. Aiden is dying to go but he has to wait one more year.

Life here is going pretty good. It has been a good transition. I appreciate all the warm thoughts yesterday and allowing me to express my thoughts on here and not think I am crazy. You know I always think Chad is a big strong guy and it is just as hard on him on Chase's day. He wrote a little tribute on Chases site and it made me realize he still hurts too. How can you not right? I think what really hurts is when you think some people would be there for you and aren't, but I guess that is par for the course for us.. we just keep pressing on as a family. I really have to just concentrate on us or I would go crazy with all that, and pray.

So now off to do a whirlwind cleaning job on our house. If anyone knows Chad you know how tidy he is... So I guess that pile of wash better get done! I can be such a procrastanator at times. Hope you all have a great weekend. I am thinking we may take in the zoo or something like that.

Remembering Chase, and celebrating what his life has meant..

Well, today is that dreadful day that I found out 2 years ago that Chase died, 38 weeks 8lbs 5 oz. There still is not an hour in the day that goes by that I don't think of Chase. I know for someone who is looking in they may think, "Gee, she should be over it by now"... I might have been one of those people to before this happened to me, but a mother never gets over losing a child. Every birthday, or holiday you think gee someone is missing... Someone once said to me the bleeding stops but you always have the scar that is so true. But I do have to say that thank God that he has given me faith to move on and has supplied so many blessings to me and my family. Without God, where would I be? I am not quite sure I would want to answer that...

Faith is hope... and that has been my motto ever since this has happened. Hope is what lets us go on when we think we can't any more. I really believe that God has a reason for letting something like this happen. Maybe a wake up call to do something good with our lives, not to take life for granted. Before this, our family was easy sailing, no problems... then July 16, 2007 hit and life changed forever. It changed for many in our family, we were shaken to the core. I still thank my family for all they have done, and my precious husband who had to hear the news in Iraq...

I know not many people like to hear or even talk about sad news, especially the death of a child, it is easier just not to say anything... but for us we like to know that people have remembered, that Chase had lived and is still living. There is nothing wrong with talking about what could have been and sharing our story. Because out of this story has come a greater story yet, one of continuing love no matter what happens.

Without our tragedy we would not have the blessings we have now. I am so thankful for my precious daughter who is wise beyond her years. She tells me all the time, "I have 2 brothers, one in heaven and one on earth"... and the one in heaven went up through the clouds and is keeping an eye on me... I truly believe that too, she still says things that take my breath away. And my precious little China blessing Aiden... I can't say enough good things about him. He truly is an angel from above, he is the kindest, happiest little guy. And because of AIDEN and our trip to China we always have a heart for these kids in China.... Chad and I have had it on our hearts to adopt one more

I am so thankful for all of God's gifts he has given to us. We might not always know the why of things but I just have to believe that there is a bigger picture out there that we don't know about.

Finally here and settling in...

Just thought I would share a few pictures of our house as we are getting it together It has been a whirlwind of a week. We moved into our house last Thursday and have unpacked over 16000 pounds of household goods, thanks to Chad and his "we got to get this done" encouragment. Seriously, I probably needed it though... when the movers left and we had all these boxes filling our floors I could have died but we really knocked things out pretty fast.

Our house is great, we have lots of room. Taylor and Aiden are with my mother in law right now so we have had time to get things organized without them. I am really anxious for them to see their new place. We tried to make it special for them. Taylor is already signed up for a music/drama camp next week and soccer starting in Fall. Sports is really big out here which will be great for our family.

How is the midwest compared to NJ? Well, much slower that is for sure but I guess that is a good thing (at times). I think it will be a good 3 years, people seem to be happy here. St. Louis is 12 minutes from here so that is a great thing as well.
My friend Maggie has taken me out to the Cheesecake Factory and shopping... what more could a girl as for!

Well, I hope to put more on here soon and start blogging again. I need to get my business up and running. Hope you are doing well! Don't mind the messy pictures compared to 2 days ago our house is a palace. Hopefully in the next week things will be totally put in their places. Miss you all!