Thursday, July 16, 2009

Remembering Chase, and celebrating what his life has meant..

Well, today is that dreadful day that I found out 2 years ago that Chase died, 38 weeks 8lbs 5 oz. There still is not an hour in the day that goes by that I don't think of Chase. I know for someone who is looking in they may think, "Gee, she should be over it by now"... I might have been one of those people to before this happened to me, but a mother never gets over losing a child. Every birthday, or holiday you think gee someone is missing... Someone once said to me the bleeding stops but you always have the scar that is so true. But I do have to say that thank God that he has given me faith to move on and has supplied so many blessings to me and my family. Without God, where would I be? I am not quite sure I would want to answer that...

Faith is hope... and that has been my motto ever since this has happened. Hope is what lets us go on when we think we can't any more. I really believe that God has a reason for letting something like this happen. Maybe a wake up call to do something good with our lives, not to take life for granted. Before this, our family was easy sailing, no problems... then July 16, 2007 hit and life changed forever. It changed for many in our family, we were shaken to the core. I still thank my family for all they have done, and my precious husband who had to hear the news in Iraq...

I know not many people like to hear or even talk about sad news, especially the death of a child, it is easier just not to say anything... but for us we like to know that people have remembered, that Chase had lived and is still living. There is nothing wrong with talking about what could have been and sharing our story. Because out of this story has come a greater story yet, one of continuing love no matter what happens.

Without our tragedy we would not have the blessings we have now. I am so thankful for my precious daughter who is wise beyond her years. She tells me all the time, "I have 2 brothers, one in heaven and one on earth"... and the one in heaven went up through the clouds and is keeping an eye on me... I truly believe that too, she still says things that take my breath away. And my precious little China blessing Aiden... I can't say enough good things about him. He truly is an angel from above, he is the kindest, happiest little guy. And because of AIDEN and our trip to China we always have a heart for these kids in China.... Chad and I have had it on our hearts to adopt one more

I am so thankful for all of God's gifts he has given to us. We might not always know the why of things but I just have to believe that there is a bigger picture out there that we don't know about.


autumnesf said...

I can't help but cry for you! Cry for your loss....and tears of joy for your next blessing. Can I just say I really envy you!!! What I wouldn't give to adopt another!

Blessing on this day friend!

Stephanie said...

I am remembering with you today. Every woman who has experienced the loss of a baby, no matter what trimester, never forgets. I'm so glad you have those memories and pictures to remember with. I don't think you're supposed to "get over it", it is always part of who you are and what you become. You are wonderful, turning such sadness into such beauty. You're right when you say, "We might not always know the why of things but I just have to believe that there is a bigger picture out there that we don't know about."

OMW! I'm so excited for you! And a 7 yo girl at that! Taylor must be jumping-out-of-her-skin excited! May God never cease to amaze you!

Anonymous said...

Love you-

As I sit in my office and read all you have written I stop to ponder the great works that have occured in our lives. Truly we are blessed. As we honor Chase today I reflect on how it felt to hold him and now how it feels to know he is our guardian angel.
I am so excited to have another niece. Love you all.
Your sister

Don said...

I will always remember that day. We will be with Chase one day. He knows how much we love him. God works in mysterious ways sometimes.
Aiden surly has a brother and sister who truly love him. Aiden may have never had his heart fixed without this happening to Chase. I believe things happen for a reason.I certainly wish not so tragic, Chase will see us again, give us all a big hug,and say, "Welcome Home". Heidi and Chad have given Aiden,Taylor and Chase the best a parent can give,LOVE. We will never forget my grandson Chase, but I truly believe he gave his life so another could live. Through family support,we will go forward, but never forget our grandson and your son, "CHASE". Love, Poppy

Donna said...

I also believe that everything happens for a reason and that's a comfort if we take the time to really stop and think about all the blessings we eventually find as we walk down our new path.

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