Saying goodbye... again (right?)

Saying "goodbye" seems to be the thing here of late. I heard a saying one time it was, "We don't say goodbye, it is - "Until we see each other again"... I guess that is a more positve twist on it, right? We are still adjusting to the move out here and saying goodbye is just one of those things. Five more years left in the military... (hopefully) We had such a great time with my dad and mom this month. We were spoiled having them both come out and us go there. Thanks for coming dad! Chad and I both appreciate the effort you guys make. It is amazing the bond they share after only a year here.

It is amazing, when I look back at my dad and my relationship, I really gave him the grey hair on his head... sneaking out, getting grounded was the normal cycle. Don't get me wrong we had a great childhood sports, vacations and all that - but I rebelled a little at home (yes, I did!) Now we have such a great bond. Living away really makes you appreciate family that is for sure. I am so glad the kids feel that bond even though we live so far away, that is all I want... to pass on that tradition.

So anyways, now back to the old grind. I am really trying to get some things up and posted on ebay, work on my web designing and some adoption stuff. Taylor and I are also working on some sewing collaborations right now. She actually will wear some cute outfits now that we are living here. (I just can't press the limit with "cuteness". I am following my friend Connies blog right now.. it is priceless. She is in China adopting two more kids right now. A 14 year old boy and I believe 2 year old girl (maybe one)... So special to see her travels. It is inspiring!

Hope you all are doing well!

St. Louis Arch/Science Museum

Well, we have had a great time with my dad despite Aiden got the flu while he was here.... Friday night he started a fever and by Saturday it was 103.5! Needless to say I took him to the doctor and he tested positive for the flu. He got his medicine and two hours after we got home the fever broke, thank God. He still has some cold symptoms but other then that he is doing great. So we ended up doing a little site seeing while grandpa was in town, since they were feeling better. Tomorrow back to the grind for them. I will be sad when my dad leaves, it has been so nice. Yes, well no use thinking about all that, just thankful for the time we do have right? I am very thankful too!

Taylor and her friends at a party at the zoo

Taylor had a birthday party to go to yesterday with her classmates at the zoo. It was really neat. They were able to touch a hedge hog, chinchilla and an iguana. Her favorite "boy as a friend" was there Huntley, it seemed wherever he went so was she... so innocent and fun at this age!

Go Penn State!

Sorry, Chad we are trying to convert the kids while you are gone! Big game today... I guess we will see who's who... Miss you Chad!

"Poppy's" Arrived... the kids are so happy

My kids were so happy when my dad came to visit today. They have been looking forward having company at our house. We are so happy to see him. It is priceless to see Aiden just run up to him when he sees him. It is amazing how from the very beginning Aiden just had a special spot for "poppy" and vice versa. My dad brought out the four wheeler Aiden drives around out in PA when he comes. He just about went crazy when he saw it in his truck. Chad is away right now, so it is nice having some company. I am going to go through withdraw when he leaves because we have been lucky to see so much family this month. It isn't bad out here, but it is taking some adjusting being away from what we called home for 10 years. So it is wonderful having some of home come out here.. Poppy bought those new pajamas for the kids... I was shocked Taylor wanted feet pajamas too. I guess Aiden can't have something different then she has... you know how that goes!

Baby Loss Awareness Day..remembering all babies

This video someone sent me, sad but so true. Just wanted to remember my son Chase, as well as all my friends who have lost a child. Today is a day of remembering all the little lives gone to soon from our life. Although, life moves on there is not a day that a parent who loses a child forgets about that child. It is a hole in the soul. I do thank God for his hope that he has given me and my family for the future. I truly believe everything happens for a reason although it is hard to understand, why? Why would God allow me to have years of infertility all to lose my son 3 days before birth? But I have had to just give it over to God and thank him for giving me peace to move on. We move on but never forget. I look at Taylor and think, "Would, Chase look like her?"... then I look at Aiden, and I think, "Would Aiden be alive if it weren't for Chase".

I do think there is so much to learn from the loss of a loved one, and that is to realize that life is short. I feel like I really try to live like that song says, "Live like you were dying". I was one of those people that lived in a bubble from true loss, and then it happened. I have done alot of soul searching over the last two years, and I truly hope I am a more compassionate person. I just wanted to remember especially my friends on Silent Grief, Odette,Kristin, Tabitha and Dusty. Our little ones are our guardian angels... one day we will be united, there will come a day...

What I received today - a wonderful surprise!

Sun Fen, sent a picture to a friend of mine in China who sent it to me - what a great surprise today! I just wish my paperwork was moving faster!

In the picture there is a note in Chinese “I want to have a warm family”.

On the back of the picture there is another note:

Dear Daddy and Mommy,

Hello! I miss you very much. I hope you can come to get me – your daughter soon.

Daughter Xia Sun Fen

Cousin pictures...in PA

Having a wonderful time with family out in PA. There is nothing like home. I so have missed the mountains and fall foilage. Taylor and Aiden are having a blast being spoiled by the grandparents and aunts.We took a quick 6 day vacation out here.